Sunday, June 13, 2010

Dumpster Artifacts

Rule #37: Removing clothing from Childhood Icons is neither sexy or acceptable.

-P.J. Sunnyside

Class or Trash?

Letters to the Editor:

Dear Gay Dumpster,

After reading your blog, I'm wondering if I have become gay trash. I recently found out that four of my previous partners have contracted syphilis from each other. However, I escaped the situation syph-free. I'm hoping you can help me put my mind at ease: is this situation classy or trashy?

-Questioning in Queens

Dear Questioning,
This situation will be categorized as cautiously classy.
Although your partners are trash, your preventative actions
have left you out of the dumpster.
Congratulations on the clean bill of health,
although the real verdict will come from our readers.

Readers: please comment with your opinion!

-Henry Arcadia

Dumpster Diving

Let's broader our vocabularies by adding a new word to the vernacular:

-Vomit Hockey [vom-it hok-ee]: The act of connecting lips in a passionate manner, breaking this connection for one or both parties to expel the contents of their stomachs, followed by a reconnection of lips in continued affection. OMG Jenny! Did you see Michael and Zander playing vomit hockey at Carol's party this weekend? From the looks of Michael's shirt, I guess Zander had egg salad for dinner.

-Max Hawthorne

Formal Introduction

Good day to all!

In the interests of community outreach, which remains one of our biggest concerns, we feel that we must address a growing issue surfacing within the gay community: Gay Trash.

To clean up the streets, we feel that this trash must be dealt with in a positive manner. Please feel free to enlist as a waste management engineer to help combat this serious offense.

Welcome to the Gay Dumpster!

-Henry Arcadia, P.J. Sunnyside,
Max Hawthorne, Galaxy Windsor